Boy, Girl, Boy, Girl...

A week or so ago, a couple of my girlfriends and I decided to go out, and since there is really nothing to do in Columbia we went to…Starbucks

As we were lounging waiting for our mocha frappaccinos, green ginger tea, americano with an extra shot and a banana mango vivano with extra energy and protein (I actually don’t remember what everyone ordered, I just wanted to sound cool =)) a group of Muslim boys walk in…

Now the plot. Half of the boys were on something, the other half were roudy and abnoxious and almost all of them had girls all over them…(plus there were girls just chilling with them)

So they all order and decide to sit near our area...not only was it disgusting, but it was really uncomfortable. i felt like my body was going to explode with different emotions…I was angry, hurt, sad and betrayed…I couldn’t help but wonder…what has become of our deen? Not only did the Muslim boys fall into this trap, but a lot of the girls I grew up with did too…

In Surat Al-Nur ayas 30-31, Allah says: “Say to the believing men to lower their gaze and their modesty. That is purer for them, and Allah is aware of what they do. And say to the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their modesty”
Also, Imam Muslim narrates from Jarir ibn Abdullah (RA) who says: “I asked Allah’s Messenger about the sudden glance on a non-mahram. He commanded me that I should turn away my eyes.”

In light of the above, it is obvious that the free intermingling of both sexes is not allowed. Islam teaches us that both men and women have to lower their gaze in the presence of eachother…how can that be accomplished if Muslim guys and girls are hanging out together, whether it be on campus, going out for lunch or even going to starbucks?

A couple of days after the “incident” I was thinking about what happened and was still pretty upset about it. It is very easy for us to get sucked into the “college life.” You know, chillin on campus for the hell of it (even though we don’t have anything to do), going to lunch with a big group of people (guys and girls) etc etc…
We are prone to fall into temptations of sin and the whispers of shaytan…Allah says, Put your hope in Me. Man was not created sinful, but he was created weak.
It’s important to realize that yes, we are gonna screw up but we should always turn to Allah (SWT) and call upon Him, ask him for forgiveness and know that there is hope cuz he is the most merciful.

On the authority of Anas, who said: I heard the messenger of Allah say:
Allah said: “O son of Adam, as long as you call upon Me and put your hopes in Me, I have forgiven you for what you have done and I do not mind. O son of Adam, if your sins were to reach the clouds of the sky and then you were to come to Me with sins that are close to filling the earth and then you would meet me without ascribing any partners with Me, I would certainly bring to you forgiveness close to filling it.” –Hadith Qudsi

In the hadith, Allah gives us hope (woot woot) =) he truly is al-Rahman (the most compassionate) and al-Raheem (the most merciful). The hadith taught me the importance of realizing Allah’s mercy and having both faith and hope in Him. It’s really important to ask for forgiveness and to repent.

I pray that Allah will guide us all towards the straight path especially us, the youth still in college and facing all these temptations. I ask Allah to forgive me for any judgment I might have felt towards those guys and pray that inshallah our iman will defeat our shaytan. Ameen

May Allah give us the strength of Umar Ibn Al-Khatab (RA), the loyalty of Musab Ibn-Umair (RA), the presistance of Salahudeen Al-Ayoobi and the faith of Abu Bakr Al-Sideeq (RA). Ameen

Al-'Eethar...Say Whaat?

The other day I was sitting with my mom and some of her friends. They were watching Iqra on tv, like always and I was just chilling with nothing to do. For those of you who are not familiar with Iqra, it is one of the Arabic channels that pretty much shows Islamic lectures 24/7 (which is pretty tight, especially during Ramadan). Anywho, one of the scholars kept repeating the word “al-‘eethar.”

Usually when I hear a word that is unfamiliar, I brush it off and go about my business but something about this word was different…I really wanted to know what it was. So I ask mama and her friends and they couldn’t give me an exact translation in English.

There are many words in Arabic that when translated to English the definition doesn’t entirely statisfy the broad sense of the word. For example, the word “Haya.” we translate it to shyness, but in Arabic there is a different word for shyness. The same could be said about the word “Tawadu” which is translated as humbleness in English; but the translation of the word is humility…Ya I know, super confusing…I guess you can say, its complicated. All in all, my mom and her friends agreed that the best translation for al-‘eethar is selflessness.

So i did some hardcore research, haha, and according to dictionary.com, the act of being selfless is “having little or no concern for oneself, especially with regards to fame, position, money etc…” Well, I think this definitioin is better and it sounds a little more Islamic to me: “to give prefernce to others over yourself and considering their happiness and welfare before your own.”

It’s amazing that some Islamic beliefs have vanished and become unknown although Islam calls for them and our prophet Mohammed (PBUH) applied them. I couldn’t help but wonder, where can we find al-‘eethar?

Imam Al-Ghazaly says in his book Al-Ehyaa (The Revival), that there are three leves of al-‘eethar:

1. To give your bother/sister what you would give to a servent (i.e. you eat and give him your leftovers)

2. To treat your brother/sister like you want to be treated (woot woot for kindergarten)

3. To prefer your brother/sister over yourself (i.e. provide their needs before yours)

The greatest ‘eethar in this life is to seek the pleasure of Allah (SWT) over that of people and yourself. The Holy Qu’ran states “And give them (Emigrants) prefernce over themselves, even though they were in need of that” (Surat Al-Hashir, Aya 9)

Allah’s pleasure should be given top priority!

When we live only for ourselves, we will live short lonely lives that suck. However, when we live for each other, we will find happiness in other people, we will find opportunity with other people, we will be super duper happy! =) Plus, imagine…if you make people happy, that will give them an incentive to make duaa for you…who wouldn’t want that?

I heard in an Amr Khaled lecture once that a good man once said right before he passed away, “My daughter I don’t fear death any more, even if it came now. I took a lot from life, I mean I gave a lot! Sometimes my daughter it is very hard to differentiate between taking and giving, because for a believer they carry the same meaning. Every time I gave, I took. Actually I took more than I gave.”

So let’s make it our goal to give prefernce to others over ourselves for the sake of Allah (SWT) and the rewards of the hereafter. Woot woot for al-‘eethar!

*This post is dedicated to my mama, the most selfless person I know.